April 2, 1999 - Friday Evening

The news is so sad.  I saw the footage of the three captured Americans and I started
crying.  =o(   Of course the whole situation is sad but all I could think of was what if that was
one of my loved ones?  I guess all we can do at this point is pray for them.

Happy Good Friday!  I was singing God songs at work today.  My co-workers were laughing at
me and I laughed with them of course because I always laugh at myself.  But it made me
wonder how seriously they take me and do they know how serious I am about my beliefs.  I
guess I haven't been doing my best to be a good example of what a Christian should be.
Sometimes I fail God miserably.  That there are people actually in my life who don't even
know what Good Friday is, is a sure sign I have failed at telling people about God.  =o(

So I'm thinking that I must be experiencing one of my more sensitive moods because
everything seems to be making me sad.  I'm sad that Dwayne has to work on Easter.  I am
missing him lately.

There was a ladybug crawling on my back the other day.  What I want to know is why do they
keep bothering me when I am trying to type?  Today one landed on the 2 on my keyboard.
It's a good thing I didn't need that key cause she didn't appear to be in any rush to move.
You know you have lived with ladybugs too long when you let them sit on your keyboard.  You
know you have lived with ladybugs too long when you feel them crawling on your back and you
don't care.  You know you have lived with ladybugs too long when you can tell how old they are
by studying their coloring.  (I feel like Jeff Foxworthy.)  Oh I have a good one... you know you
have lived with ladybugs too long when you look in your soda and see one floating around in it
and you feel bad for the ladybug that she drowned instead of being mad that she ruined your
perfectly good glass of soda.  Oh!  Here's another one... you know you have lived with
ladybugs too long when one is in your way and you spend 15 minutes trying to move it instead
of just squishing it.

April 4, 1999 - Sunday Evening

Happy Easter!  Well, it's Easter whether we are happy or not.  And after everything that this
day represents to me I feel guilty for not being more thankful and more happy.  God
deserves so much more than I have given Him lately.  I guess He and I need to have a talk.
For now I am going to try not to be too depressing!

The church was packed today!  It's cool when it's like that because the music is so much more
full!  The stage was decorated with lillies and tulips and it was so pretty.  I sat up in the
balcony today.  I know I would have felt too claustrophobic with it so crowded down there.

So I sat upstairs and watched Dwayne on stage.  (He sings and plays the flute with the
worship team.)  There are many times when I take him for granted and I shouldn't because
he is such a good man.  But I felt far away from him today, even when he was sitting right
next to me.  I hate that feeling.  I used to always think that it was his fault that I felt that
way.  That he wasn't paying enough attention to me.  I'm beginning to realize that there are
times when I shut people out.  When there is so much emotion going on inside of me that I
distance myself from people because I don't want to talk to anyone about my feelings.

For instance, Dwayne could tell I was upset about something this morning and he asked me
what was wrong.  And instead of sharing my feelings with him the way a wife should share her
feelings with her husband I just replied, "nothing" and I stared out the window feeling sad
and alone.  But it was my own fault I felt that way.  There are so many people in my life.  I
should never feel alone, but I distance myself without realizing it.  I think partly because I
feel I have to be strong in front of people.  I think some people would be surprised at how
unsure I am of myself and how sad I can be.  No one would ever know because I do a good
job of hiding it.

Hmmmmm... not anymore I guess.  hehehehehehehe  That's the weird thing about this journal
thing.  I feel like I am alone with my thoughts and I forget that people will read this.  Oh
well, I'm sure none of this is new to anyone.  Everyone must struggle with these issues at
some point in their life.  (At least I HOPE I'm not the only one!)

I found out today that my grandmother is in the hospital.  =o(   She has some fluid in her lungs
that they are trying to clear up.  She looks good, Dwayne and I stopped by to see her after
church.  She was complaining about the lunch they had just served her.  hehehehehe  Those
poor nurses!  They're gonna have a hard time keeping up with Nana!

My dog is so funny!  He flips out when anyone comes near the living room window.  He has
broken it a couple of times.  He's pretty aggressive, which ISN'T funny and actually a whole
different story... but this is the funny part...  We have to keep the blinds closed for that
reason, so he won't see people outside and go nuts.  So if he's around we always leave the
mini-blinds down and closed.  The funny thing is, he has learned with his nose how to flip just
one of the slats up just enough so that there is a crack in the blinds at his eye level.  And
when he hears a noise he runs over to the window and looks out the crack and you see his head
going from one side to the other watching whoever it is outside.  He is way too funny, and
smart!

Well, I'm going to try to fix the wavs on this site so that they will actually work!  Sorry that I
wasn't in a better mood!

April 5, 1999 - Monday Evening

I'm happier than I was yesterday!

Although I still feel far away from Dwayne.  He seems to be acting indifferent to me.  I told
him I felt that way but he just shrugged his shoulders as if I was imagining it.  I know I'm not
though.  I'm sure there are times when I act indifferent to him as well.  Why can't we both
feel that way at the same time and get it over with so that all the other time we can enjoy
eachother?  It's not that he's being a jerk or anything, he just seems really quiet and not
paying much attention to me.  Maybe I just require too much attention.  Maybe I'm a high
maintenance wife.... hmmmmm... naaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa, it's him.  hehehehehhehehehe just
kidding!  =oÞ

Okay so this is pretty bad... listen to this...  I was at the grocery store earlier tonight and
after I put my groceries in the car I sat down behind the wheel and started the car.  As I
was about to pull away I noticed a ladybug on my windshield and this is honestly the first
thing that came to my mind, "what is she doing so far away from home?"  You know you've
lived with ladybugs too long when you see them at other places outside and you think they've
travelled all that way from your house.

Dwayne got ahold of the scissors the other day and gave Keisha a fur cut.  She's now ready
for the Army - hehehehehehehehe.  Actually she looks really pretty, nice short, soft fur.  But
she has so much - you can make a whole other dog from her fur!!!

Hehehehe...  I'm chatting with a couple of my online friends.  They crack me up.  It amazes
me how many good people I have met online.  Some I haven't really talked to that much in the
last 6 months to a year.  That makes me sad.  =o(

OH!  I forgot to tell you something... the Drew and Mimi thing has been over for a while ever
since Jennifer gave up and let Jim have his box.  There's a new situation brewing now... let
me explain...  I hired a new guy, named Buck and now Buck and Jim share a desk.  Buck has
the desk during the day, and Jim has it at night.  Now, a few weeks ago Jim brought in a plant
to put on the desk and Buck isn't a plant person.  So today Buck moved the plant to the
window sill and when Jim came in he put the plant back on the desk...  hehehehehehehe... I
hope things don't get worse from here!!!

April 6, 1999 - Tuesday Evening

I have been writing 4/5/99 all day today.  Today is not yesterday... I need to get that
straight, although it doesn't much matter anymore because it's almost tomorrow!

Guess what was the first thing that Buck did this morning when he came in?!  Yup, you're
right... he moved Jim's plant back over to the windowsill using the excuse that it would get
more sunlight.  hehehehehe  Not only did he move the plant but he moved the stackable bin
thingy to where the plant was sitting.  That is most definitely in violation of Jim's desk.  But
it's okay because when Jim came in today he moved the stackable bin thingy back and placed
it perfectly kitty-corner, as all stackable bin thingys should be placed, and put the plant back
in it's rightful spot.  I LOVE good entertainment!!!

Today Jen told me she was thinking about accepting another job offer.... let me just say ONE
word... "I don't even think so Jen, no way, no how, never, not going to happen, forget about
it."  Well, okay, 18 words.  =oÞ

Zach has the runs.  I've already taken him out several times cause he kept whining and going
over to the door.  In dog language that means, "mom (that's what he calls me), come quick... if
I don't get outside soon you're going to have to clean up an accident."  So I run (no pun
intended) over to the door and grab his leash.  That's mom language for, "don't even think
about it pal or else..."

Dogs are so strange.  Why do they feel the need to sniff every inch of the ground before
they go to the bathroom.  And they are only selective when they have to poop.  They will pee
anywhere.  But when they have to poop they sniff the ground and just when you think that's
where they are going to squat they hurry up and find another spot to sniff.  It's as if they
sniff a spot and say, "okay, I have determined that that is NOT where I want to poop."

Stick around... I have many gross dog stories.  =o)

Last week when Dwayne did laundry he lost my brown sock.  He says he lost it... I think he
felt bad for it and let it escape.  So please be on the look out for one brown sock.  I don't
think he's gotten too far!  But Dwayne actually loses one of my socks every time he does
laundry... every week it's a different color though.  He says to me, "why is it always your
socks that get lost".  To this I reply with laughter because all Dwayne wears for socks are
those huge white tube socks and if one was missing he'd never know.  =o)  Actually, now that I
think about it, I think Dwayne does that on purpose so that I'll say he's too incompetent to do
the laundry and take it over for him.  Ahhh... men... you can not, I repeat NOT, fool us with
that!  Ladies, back me up... we need to come together on this issue...

Can you tell I'm a little hyper tonight?

Okay, I have tortured you poor people long enough... I am going to bed now!

Nite nite!

April 8, 1999 - Thursday Evening

My brown sock has returned!!!  Along with a pair of black undies that aren't mine!  I don't
know how this laundry thing happens.  It was probably one of my neighbors husbands doing
their laundry and instead of losing a sock he lost undies.  Man, socks are one thing... if ANY of
my undies ever get lost I am definitely firing Dwayne!!!  No ifs ands or buts about it!!

My poor pregnant sister who is already worn out from being almost 9 months along now has a
slight case of pneumonia.  Right now I am taking care of her 10 month old baby so she can get
some rest.  Man I love this kid!!!  She is soooooooooooo sweet and cute and funny.  Babies are
so precious.

I have this friend I met online... I don't hear from him much anymore but he sends me an
email every once in a while...  I wonder what it is that makes me so attached to people.  He
and I had gone a couple months, maybe not even that long, chatting quite often but that was
so long ago.  You'd think that I could get over it, yet when he sends me an email I am
reminded of what a special person he is and how much I miss him.  And when I check my email
and I see one from him it just makes me smile.  =o)      (see?)

Dwayne is better.  We had a long talk about things.  Marriage is so much work.  I never knew
it would be so hard.  The problem with us is that we are so completely different in the things
we like but we have the same type of personality.  So he wants to travel, I want to stay home
and we both are stubborn about not doing what the other wants to do.

The other day when it was his day off he got in the car and drove almost to Canada - just for
the sake of going somewhere.  Yuck, I hate driving unless there is a reason I have to go some
place.  Dwayne is so passionate about seeing the world.  He likes to experience things.  Me, I
like to dream about experiencing things.  But something I said to him the other night I think
made alot of sense to him.  When someone has a dream it is special because it's a dream... if
you experience the dream it is no longer a dream but reality.  Then it loses the specialness.  I
know that isn't always the case.  People have dreams and goals and derive alot of pleasure
from accomplishing their dreams and goals.  I just think that some things are better left as
dreams.

But you know what?  I can't figure out why I hate traveling (I just looked traveling up in the
dictionary to see if there are two l's or one and you can spell it either way.  hmmmm
interesting).  I always used to think it was because I was afraid but I don't think that's all
there is to it.  I seriously don't enjoy going places.

For instance, and I don't know if any of this is going to make any sense to anyone but hear me
out anyways...  Every time I have made plans to do something away from home it never turns
out the way that I thought it would.  One time we made plans to go away for the weekend to
this really romantic hotel.  We had a hot tub in our room and it was in a nice location and it was
just supposed to be this really nice weekend.  And it was nice.  But when I was planning the
trip I was so excited and had high expectations of how I would feel and everything and when
we got there I was really disoriented and didn't feel the way I thought I would.  I think part
of my problem is that it takes me a long time to adjust to my surroundings and so short trips
like that just leave me feeling disoriented and totally not myself.

So Dwayne's idea of the perfect life would be to travel around from place to place like a
nomad.  He would probably enjoy missionary work or working in the peace corps.  That is so
not me.  I want to buy a home and live in the same place forever.

Oh well... maybe some day we'll find a happy medium!

April 10, 1999 - Saturday Evening

Well, Dwayne made it through the laundry without a lost sock incident.  I am so proud!!!  I was
remembering today another laundry story...  One night Dwayne and I had gotten into an
argument, I'm sure it was something stupid but I was really mad at the time.  He brought the
laundry into the bedroom and then went back into the living room to watch tv.  Now... first let
me tell you that all this man wears are t-shirts.  He has alot of them.  So this one particular
time I was so mad at him for whatever it was we were fighting about that instead of folding
his t-shirts I decided to just stuff them all in his drawer.  I clearly remember stuffing them
in the drawer and saying, "I am NOT going to fold all these stupid t-shirts tonight!!!"

Well, the next morning I had forgotten all about it and I was in the kitchen.  The bedroom
door was open and I could hear Dwayne get up and go over to his dresser and open the
drawer.  All of the sudden I heard him say in a very puzzled voice, "what the heck is up with
that?!"  It was soooooooooooo funny I just burst out laughing.  I thought he was going to be
mad at me for sure but he started laughing too.

My sister thinks I'm addicted to the internet because she says she tries to call me and I am
online for a few hours every night.  I USED to be addicted to the internet, now I just stay on
it all the time.  There is a huge difference between the two and it's all in the attitude.  If I
was addicted then I wouldn't be able to leave even if I had something better to do.

Hey, by the way, the ladybugs are dwindling.  After I spent all that time drawing the ladybug
for my site and making it my "theme" -  I am now almost ladybugless.  What is up with that?
They were all just using me for a warm place to stay.  Now that the weather is nice they are
back out on the streets.  Oh well.  Guess it's back to Paint Shop Pro for some new graphics.
Or I could just leave things the way they are for now.  Okay you talked me into it, I'll leave it
alone.

April 11, 1999 - Sunday Evening

I took my niece home today.  =o(   I was so sad.  The strange thing was that she started
crying when I tried to hand her to my sister.  That felt so weird because normally when my
sister gives her to me and then leaves the room she starts crying.  This time it was me she
was crying for.  How strange my sister must have felt about that!  Gosh, I miss that little
baby already.  I can't keep thinking about her though or else I'll start crying.  =o(

I was also really sad today when Dwayne went to work.  I am so tired of him working on
Sundays and also I am tired of him working 2nd shift.  I'm tired of doing everything by
myself and being alone.  I just want to snuggle on the couch and watch a movie at night with
him or something.  But if he were here I would probably be wanting time alone.  hehehehehe -
am I ever happy?   =oÞ

Okay listen to this... I saw a bumper sticker on a car today that said, "Grow your own dope".
And then in small letters underneath it said, "Plant a man".  hehehehehehehe that's kind of
mean but I laughed anyways.  But this is what I'm wondering... what do police officers think
when they are traveling behind that woman's car?  Because you have to get real close to see
the "plant a man" part, it's in small print.  I guess I'm not a bumper sticker kind of girl but
some of them are really funny.

I have another cold.  =o(   Dwayne had it first so I'm fairly sure he gave it to me.  Because
the other day I had a glass of soda and he went to take a sip and before he did I said, "hey,
stop right there, don't even think about it"  and he just said I was going to get it sooner or
later so let's just get it over with.  You know what?  On a related subject matter - this man
can not get his own drink.  Even when we go over someone elses house and they ask him if he
wants a drink he says, "no that's okay, I'll just share hers".  I'm possessive with my drinks
but I'm learning how to share.  (I have no choice.)

April 12, 1999 - Monday Evening

Why do cold germs like me?  I'm not happy about having another cold.  But then again, who is
ever happy when they get a cold?

This is funny... today I left work early to come home and get some sleep.  Buck ended up
staying until 5 for me, which is when I usually leave.  Which meant that Jim was coming in at 3
and Buck would be sitting at the desk.  Well I talked to Jeff earlier, who comes in at 5.  This
is going to get confusing but there are 3 desks in the front office.  Jeff sits at my desk at
night, Jim sits at Buck's desk at night, and one of the girls that comes in at night uses
Jennifer's desk.  So when Jim came in he sat at my desk until 5 when Jeff ended up coming
in.  And guess where Jim's plant was???  hahahahahahahahahahaha oh man, that man cracks
me up so much cause he had taken his plant from the windowsill - which is where Buck puts it
every morning, and put it on my desk while he was sitting there for 2 hours.  Maybe no one
else would find it amusing.  I laughed so hard when Jeff told me that!

Speaking of Jeff... I get to work with him on Friday because I'm working at night.  We're
going to order Chinese for supper!  Cool!  I can't wait!  See, Jeff and I used to work every
night together but then I switched to days and deserted him.  =o(   He was depressed for
weeks!  hahahahahaha, no I'm just kidding.  (There Jeffrey, is that better? hehehehe)

Today when I came home there was a message from Dwayne for me to call him at work.  I
thought that he was just checking on me because he knew I wasn't feeling well.  So I called
him back and all he wanted was a couple of telephone numbers!  =o(   That made me sad!  I'm
such a baby when I get sick.  I like to be taken care of.  But here I am, all alone... sitting in
front of this stupid computer.  I WANT MY HUSBAND BACK!!!

 I met a new friend on ICQ, actually several of them.  The thing that amazes me is how many
people I meet and talk to on ICQ and yet in person I'm really shy at first and hardly ever
meet new people.  I guess hiding behind a computer screen makes me feel safe and I drop
my guard.

Why is it that when you feel your nose running and you go to blow it only a very little comes
out?  And why does only one side run at a time.  It annoys me that I can breathe out of one
nostril and not the other.  Okay, if you lay in bed and lay on your left side, it's the left side
that gets stuffed up and you can breathe out of your right side.  So then you flip onto the
other side and it's reversed.  This bugs me because I'm an even type of person.  I would like
my nose to be balanced.  I believe they call this anal retentive.  =o)   Either that or insanity.
=oÞ

April 15, 1999 - Thursday Evening

Happy Tax Day!!!  Hey, if I can be happy while having to dish out $528.00 to Uncle Sam, you
can be happy too!  I feel good this tax season because I filed my tax return on April 12th
instead of waiting till the last minute and filing it April 15th.  hehehehehehehe  Course you DO
know that if I had money coming back to me I would have filed back in January and gotten
the rapid refund!!!  =o)

I'm slowly getting over my cold.  You'll be happy to know that my nose is more balanced; I
can barely breathe out of either nostril.  This is what I look like:    :O)

Mmmmmm, I'm craving iced coffee.

Hey, check this out...  I've never been good at having fish, you know, in a fish tank?  They
always die on me within a couple weeks.  But I have a fish tank with 5 fish in it and I got the
fish back in the middle of December and they are still alive!!!  That was 4 months ago!  I can't
believe it.  And I don't know why my fish always used to die before.

Let me share a story... we had two finches and one day Dwayne and I came home to watch a
movie and eat subs for supper.  Well, we sat down on the couch and got ready to eat, when I
noticed that the birds hadn't come out of their little house to greet us like they normally did.
So I mentioned that to Dwayne and he took their cage down and shook it... still nothing... he
was trying to look inside their little house but he couldn't see anything.  He shook it again,
harder and still nothing.  So he hung the cage back up, said, "well, they must be dead" and sat
back down and began to eat his sub.  I looked at him horrified because I couldn't believe he
was going to sit there and eat with two dead birds practically hanging over our heads.  So I
said, "Honey, you can't leave them there".  So he got up, took the cage down and set it
outside by the door saying he'd get rid of them later.  Oh man.  I know it's not funny but it
makes me laugh.  We have healthy happy dogs at least!!!

Birds don't do well in my family.  When Dwayne and I were dating I bought him a parakeet
which we named Oscar.  We had him for about a year when we brought Goliath home.  Goliath
was our persian cat, he was big and had a big attitude, hence his name.  Well, Goliath was
always trying to find ways of getting to Oscar which is a fairly normal cat/bird relationship,
but we were always good at keeping him away from Oscar.  Until one day we came home to
find Oscar's cage smashed on the kitchen floor and little feathers flying around in the air
and a little bit of blood smeared on a couple of the walls.  This is not a good sign when you
have a cat and a bird.  I can laugh about the whole situation now but back then I flipped out.
We looked everywhere for Oscar and finally found him laying on the floor behind a piece of
furniture.

Well, he was still alive but didn't look very good so the following morning I took him to the
vets to have him examined.  Now, this is another funny thing about the story... I was waiting in
the examining room, Oscar was in his cage and he was barely moving.  The doctor came in,
asked me what happened and then said, "okay, let's have a look at him"  and then proceeded
to put on these huge gloves that went up to his elbows.  The kind you see people who handle
hawks and other large birds wearing.  Not only did he have these huge gloves on but he also
asked his assistant to come in the room to help him.  I would have bursted out laughing if I
hadn't been so worried about Oscar!!!  So anyways the doctor checked him out and he ended
up needing some antibiotics.

Here's another funny thing about the story... I only paid $15.95 for Oscar.  The medication
the doctor prescribed for him was $30.00, and the office visit was around $60.  But I didn't
care because Oscar was my baby.

Oscar recovered from that situation but we ended up having to give him to my grandmother
so that Goliath wouldn't try to eat him again.  So we did just that and Nana and Oscar
developed a very close and loving relationship.  Every day he would sit in his cage next to her
and as soon as she turned on the tv he would start singing and screeching and wouldn't stop
until she shut it off, which was well into the late evening hours.  And you could always hear
Nana lovingly talking to Oscar... "shut up you stupid bird!!!"  We would sit and giggle our heads
off listening to her yelling at the bird.  Course when Nana started yelling at Oscar that just
made him screech and sing all the more.  I think he liked it!!!

Well, one day we went over her house and didn't find Oscar's cage anywhere.  This is how the
conversation went:

Dwayne:  "Nana, where's Oscar?"
Nana:  "He got sick and died."
Dwayne:  "Well, what did you do with him?"
Nana:  "I threw him out."
Dwayne:  "Where?"
Nana:  "In the trash."

hehehehehehehehehehehehehehe... oh gosh, after everything that poor bird went through he
didn't even get a proper burial!

So you see...  this is why I'm so surprised my fish are still alive after 4 months!!!   =o)

April 16, 1999 - Friday Evening

No sooner had I gotten in the door tonight when Keisha started puking all over my kitchen
floor.  Nice.  Then I had to clean it up, which I did, every drop.  I wash my hands, put lotion on
them, poor myself a tall glass of ice water, sit down at the computer, and wouldn't you know
it?!  She starts puking again!  I'm not a baby when it comes to stuff like that, I can handle it.
The thing I hate about it is when you go to put the paper towels down over the puke and you
apply a little bit of pressure to it so that it will get soaked up and all of the sudden it starts
seeping through.  Ewww gross!  I hate cleaning dog puke!  Where the heck is Dwayne when I
need him?!  hehehehehehe

I have had a very strange day.  For one thing I was home during the day with Dwayne because
I worked from 3:00 pm to 8:00 pm.  Then I get to work and instead of laughter which is
normally the atmosphere, it's dead quiet!  =o(

But then I had a conversation with a friend on the phone, which was really nice.  =o)

And then Jeffrey came to work!!!  WOOO HOOO!!!  I was upset though because the darn
customers kept calling in and wanting things.  They didn't get the fact that we wanted to visit
and laugh and stuff.  Gee whiz... do these people think we get paid to work?!  (wink!)  And we
ordered chinese food for supper.  Yum!

I think I should change my name to Stephanie.  On the phone, no one can get my name right.
They call me Stephanie, Beverly, Betty, Bonnie, Bellamy, Daphney...  People, my name is
Bethany.  Bethany with a "B".  That's what I should have named my website.  Bethany with a
"B".  So sometimes I say, "my name is Beth" and then they call me Steph or Bev or Bess.

Even though my day was strange, it was nice.  We got to sleep in late, which I really needed
because last night I stayed up until 4:00 am!  Then we went to get lunch and a movie, came
home, relaxed on the couch watching a movie and then we got ready for work.  The weather
was so nice.  The lilac bushes are budding and the grass is getting greener.  Life is good.

Oh man!!!  Keisha just puked again.  =o(  What the heck is up with that?!

April 18, 1999 - Sunday Evening

Okay... the drive thru people have gone too far!!!  The other day I went thru the drive thru to
get an iced coffee, and when I told the kid how much sugar I wanted in it he said, "wow
that's alot of sugar".  Well, that's okay pal... let me worry about my teeth and you can worry
about your own teeth.  He kept going on and on about how much sugar I wanted in my coffee.
No one has ever commented on the way I like my coffee.  Well, then today I went thru the
drive thru again and it only came to like $1.08.  And I only had a $20 so the kid looks at me
like I'm crazy and he says, "Out of $20???"  AND he chuckled.  This kid had his hair in about
30 little pony tails all over his head and I felt like saying, "I think you got those things a little
too tight."  I'm not the crazy one - give me my darn change.

I was in such a bad mood this morning.  I have been feeling lately like everything in my life is
out of control.  I can't keep up with the darn dust in this house, my desk looks like a small
hurricane struck it, my bills are not organized, not only are they not organized but they're
not paid, and my dogs keep expelling this horrific gas because Dwayne fed them garlic the
other day.  Lovely huh?

Today at church the sermon was good.  It was about going to church.  There are alot of
people out there who say that they don't have to go to church to be a good Christian, or to be
saved, or to worship God.  And it's true that any of that can occur outside of church.  The
problem is we need people to hold us accountable and it's good for us to be with other people
who have similar beliefs.  I find that if I stay away from church for more than 2 weeks my
attitude really starts to stink.  Not to say that it doesn't stink at times anyways but I mean
it's worse.  But I know what half of you are thinking about the going to church thing because
this is the argument I hear all the time:  You've had a bad experience with church and you
were hurt by hypocritical people.  Well, I'm sure the reasons are more complicated than that
and I have no right to judge anyone, so I don't.  I just think that going to church is a good
thing.

I took a nap earlier this afternoon.  I love taking naps in the afternoon but when I woke up I
was so confused!  I hate that!  I didn't know what day it was, I kept thinking that there was
something I was supposed to do but couldn't remember what it was.  I was even feeling like
I was late for something when I wasn't even planning on going anywhere.  So weird...

April 21, 1999 - Wednesday Evening

Well, Dwayne got out of doing the laundry this week.  And I know what you're thinking... I'm
just way too easy on him.  But actually I had an ulterior motive... I was hoping if I did the
laundry I would be able to get him to do the dishes!  And it worked!

Hey, good news... the stench is clearing in this house!  The garlic is almost out of the dogs
systems!!!  Way cool!  I was seriously considering purchasing a gas mask.

Not much has been going on lately in my corner of the world, or in any corner of my mind.
I've been so tired because I'm just not getting enough sleep these days.

My sister is going to have her new baby very soon!  She's due in less than a week I think.  She
asked me to go into the delivery room with her when she has the baby.  I can't wait!  I'm so
excited!  I have seen one other birth as well and that was my other sister's.  I was video
taping it and it was such a great experience.  I hope everything goes well this time too.  I
can't wait to hold that little baby.  Did I tell you that she knows it's a girl?  They checked the
sex of the baby twice and are sure it's a girl!  I'm sooooooooooo excited!!!

My mom was feeling bad for me because my ladybugs have disappeared so she bought me a
ladybug keychain.  Cool huh?  And if you squeeze it, it lights up!  Neato!

I have been sitting here for like 20 minutes trying to think of something to say... I guess
that's my cue to stop for now.
 

April 24, 1999 - Way too early in the morning...

My dog is licking the carpet.  Why do dogs do that?  I remember when we lived in the
apartment before we moved here, one day we came home and in the corner of the living room
there was a big portion of the carpet gone... it was kind of ripped up and straggly.  My dog
had eaten it.  Helloooooo Keisha... my carpet is not food.  You are not a cow and this isn't a
pasture... please leave my carpet alone and intact.  The funniest thing about that incident was
that day we left for a camping trip with my friend and her daughter.  The camping trip was a
nightmare and I'll spare you the details but at one point we were just hanging around the
campsite and all of the sudden Keisha started puking.  I went over to watch...
hahahahahahahahaha... and I said, "Look!!!  There's my carpet!!"  Because she was puking up my
carpet.  It was so funny.  I still laugh so hard about that.  She sure does puke alot.

And we had the hardest time trying to find a piece of carpet to replace that hole.  I thought
for sure we wouldn't get our security deposit back, but we did and they never even asked us
about it.  Having dogs sometimes is worse than having children!

So it has been way too slow and somewhat boring at work this week.  I think because we all
had such a long week we got kind of crazy towards the end of the day today.  We were
throwing paper balls at eachother and I was creating sculptures with my silly putty for
everyone to enjoy.  It's so cool to work somewhere where the bosses actually like for us to
have fun and they laugh right along with us.  I've got the best bosses!

 My co-worker, Buck, is way too funny.    He keeps teasing my husband and telling him the
next time my husband comes to pick me up at work Buck is going to rub his bald spot and
make a wish.  We just laugh about it.  Well, the other day when Dwayne came to pick me up,
sure enough, Buck looked out the window, said "Dwayne's here!", waved frantically, and then
ran outside and jumped through the window up to his waist.  I couldn't see but later found
out that Buck did end up getting ahold of Dwayne's bald spot.  It was so funny!  You probably
had to be there to appreciate it.  Buck is really young - 18 to be exact.  He reminds me of
some of the kids we used to teach in youth group when Dwayne and I were the youth group
leaders at our church.

We have alot of young people where I work.  That's another thing I really like about it.  We
have people of all ages actually.  It's just nice to see that the owners will give anyone a
chance.  =o)

Well, Dwayne planted a bunch of seeds in our flower gardens.  We have 3 or 4 small areas
around our porch where he likes to plant different things.  This year he's planting a little bit
more traditional things.  Last year in one of the gardens he planted 3 cherry tomato plants
and then right next to those some morning glories.  He cracks me up.  They all just ended up
getting all tangled together so it looked like they were one plant.  But he was IN LOVE with
those cherry tomatoes.  He would go outside and just hang out by them, picking and eating.

And this year I was very impressed with him because he actually bought fresh seeds.  One
fall after all the flowers had died he actually went out collected them, brought them in the
house, set up a million tv trays in my living room, and proceeded to take all the dead flowers
apart to retrieve the seeds.  I laughed at him for weeks because it was taking him that long
just to get all the seeds out.  I kept asking him why he didn't just spend the .39 cents for a
package of seeds.  But he insisted on doing it HIS way.  And I had to put up with it even
though I didn't think it was going to work.  Well, the following year he did use those seeds
and they did work.  He does prove me wrong once in a great while, I will give him that.  =o)
 

April 27, 1999 - Tuesday Evening

I know, I know, I am a serious slacker.  I haven't been consistantly faithful with my journal
entries.  =o(

It's been a little crazy here lately.  Yesterday we thought my sister was in labor and after
running around like a chicken with my head cut off for a few hours we found out it wasn't the
real deal.  So she's home, waiting...  And I'm home, waiting...  She has decided, after having to
be examined by the doctor to check her progress, that she doesn't want to go through with
this.  I hated to be the one to inform her:  she has no choice!  =o)  I can't wait to see that
baby!

You know what I don't understand about myself?  Right at this moment I can not wait to see
my husband.  I am missing him and I just want to hug him and squeeze him.  But once he's here
I know I won't miss him as much.  It's the old "grass is greener on the other side" syndrome
I think.  Well...  I WANT GREEN GRASS ON MY SIDE FOR A CHANGE!!!  Maybe if I spread
out some manure... Naaaa, that will just attract the flies, then I'll have brown grass and
flies.  Not a good combo.

Dwayne did the laundry today... I'm afraid to check for missing socks...  And you can BET I'm
going to count my undies!!!

YAWN... I'm tired... No puking stories today.  I'm thankful.

I got stuck in traffic again today.  They were doing bridge work... That never makes me feel
very safe...  going over a bridge that needs repair.  But anyways... it's a good thing I don't live
in a major city because traffic jams and I do NOT get along.  There were two lanes needing
to merge and this one guy in a huge pick up decided he didn't want to let me merge.  The
nerve!  I really wanted to stop my car, get out, go up to his window and ask him where he got
his manners.  Course my manners would not allow me to do something like that.  =o)

Okay, gotta run...  nite nite!
 

April 30, 1999 - Wednesday Evening

We had a bird incident at work the other day.  There was a bird flying around in our building.
He was actually sitting on a window sill trying to fly through the glass.  I felt so bad for it.
=o(   But you see, I have a problem with birds that fly towards me - I tend to scream at the
top of my lungs and flap my arms wildly around my head.  And so does Jennifer.  We found
that out pretty quickly.  It was actually quite funny because the bird came towards us and we
were tripping all over eachother to get out of the bird's way - the whole time screaming at
the top of our lungs and flapping our arms wildly around our heads.  Well it was a big bird.  At
least it looked big being trapped inside the building.  It's pretty funny to be walking inside
and all of the sudden see a bird fly down the hall way.
 

 Well, my boss, after determining that Jennifer and I were not going to be able to handle it,
decided to recruit someone else to help him direct the bird towards the open door.  He chose
Christopher.  So there was Chris, standing in the door way, waving (not flapping) his arms
back and forth above his head and pointing towards the door.  And just by chance the bird
could understand English he was also throwing a "Go that way" for good measure.  He looked
like an air traffic control man.  Which made me shriek with laughter.  (I forgot that word
shriek.  That explains my laughter very well.)

Jennifer had to bring her son into work today, which was fine because he was very well
behaved.  But what drove her (and I) crazy was the fact that the boys (Steve and Buck) kept
undermining her parenting.  Like saying it was okay for her son to do something that she had
just told him he couldn't do.  I felt like a mother today too because I had to keep telling
them to watch their mouths in front of him.  But then Jennifer informed me that I mother
them every day.  WHATever.  =oÞ

I got car sick again today.  It seems like every day when I take Dwayne to work I get car
sick, and it's only 12 miles away.  So I tell him his driving makes me sick.  hehehehehe...  I
don't think he sees the humor in that though.

Okay so my sister has not had that baby yet.  I feel like taking her to the hospital and saying
to the doctor, "Take that baby out of there!"  It's got to happen soon though because she
lost her plug the other day.  Jennifer and I were talking about that at work and Buck got
totally grossed out.  It was quite funny.  So we talked more about it, and also the
after-birth.  Aren't we naughty?!  hehehehehehehehe  Well, it's only fair.  After all, he and
Steve talk about gross things too... like transmissions and tools and stuff.  =o)

I feel better now because you know how I said earlier about no one getting my name right?  I
always get called Stephanie, Daphne, Bellamy... and so on.  Well, Kenny can never remember
Buck's name either and it's really funny.  He calls him Buzz or Biff.  That makes us laugh.
And today Jennifer's son called him Bill.  It was too funny!

Well I better hurry up and post this.  My two readers are losing interest because I haven't
been very consistent.

Nite!