May 5, 2000 - Friday

            Decided to take this opportunity (the fact that it's completely dead in this
            office) to start an entry.  I'm bored with the internet, bored with surfing,
            bored with chatting, bored with work.  This day is going by sooooo
            sloooow.  Ew.  But I know when I start complaining about being bored
            something bad happens to stir things up.  I hope that doesn't happen.  I
            guess I'm just in a disenchanted mood.

            The other day it was snowing out. Snowing.  Then it was raining.  It had
            already rained like 4 or 5 days in a row.  Do we really need more
            precipitation?  I think not.  Hello, do the clouds realize what the date is?
            I think I may need to remind them.  Excuse me, clouds, step away from
            the low pressure... hey you, Sun, come out with your rays up where I can
            see 'em!

            I'm so queer.

            Anyways... I had an eye doctor appointment last week.  Saw a girl that I
            used to be friends with back in grade school who now works for my eye
            doctor.  Who by the way is very handsome.  The doctor that is.  Anyways.
            I lost the Astigmatism in one of my eyes.  I didn't know that could
            happen.  I thought Astigmatism was an oddly shaped eye or something
            like that.  How does an eye get back into shape?  With proper blinking
            exercises or something.  Maybe lash lifting.  Hmmm... But I did end up
            needing a stronger prescription.  I guess I won't get alarmed yet that my
            eyesight is growing worse and worse with age.  It's been 4 years since I
            had a check up so maybe that's normal for it to change slightly.  What
            doesn't make sense is the fact that I have almost 20/20 vision but still
            need to wear glasses.  Those eye tests are hard.  I never know if I'm
            answering correctly which word is clearer or whatever.  I then had to go
            back for my dilation test the other day.  Where they put drops in to check
            a larger portion of your pupil for other eye diseases.  I was afraid that the
            blurred vision it creates would make me off balanced because I'm already
            having dizzy spells, but everything was fine.  I DID feel a little weird but I
            was fine.  My eyes stayed big for hours though.  It was freaky.  I looked
            like that guy from Limp Bizkit, or however you spell the name of that
            group.  He wears black contacts that make it look like his whole eye is
            the pupil.  WEIRD, but all the kids these days think that's cool.  Well, I
            looked like that and no one thought I was cool.

            So I just haven't had any time to go online at home.  Nor have I even
            wanted to.  Dwayne has been home at night so I either watch tv with him
            or he or Manda is using the computer.  I've been very tired and going to
            bed early like 10:00.  I've been visiting alot with Rhonda who now lives
            like 15 minutes away from me.  That's way cool.

            Things seem to be going pretty good lately.  We recently were finally able
            to purchase a really nice printer for ourselves which was a huge treat.
            We don't usually spend large sums of money like that.  But we've been
            waiting a long time for a printer.  Our bills are pretty much caught up
            but we do still live paycheck to paycheck.  I'm sure we always will.

            It seems so easy for some people to just follow a natural progression of
            the "normal" american life:  go to college, get married, buy a home, have
            children, and go on yearly vacations to Disney World.  Wait, that was 20
            years ago.  Now the normal progression is:  go to college, get married,
            buy a home, have children, get divorced, get re-married, buy another
            house, have a couple more children, and go on yearly vacations to Disney
            World.  Either way, that ain't even close to my life.

            My life progression:  get average office job, get married, buy a home, have
            no children, move, lose home, have no children, move back in with
            parents, get another average office job, have no children, move into own
            apartment, continue with average office work, continue to have no
            children.  I feel like I'm wasting my life.  Not to say that I don't have great
            things and wonderful people in my life, because I do.  But I just don't feel
            complete.  Oh well.
 

May 7, 2000 - Sunday Morning

            I'm very unhappy about tick season.  Ticks make me wish I lived in the
            city.  And that's pretty bad because I hate the city almost as much as I
            hate ticks.  Keisha is a tick magnet.  I feel bad because when she comes
            in from being outside I don't want her anywhere near me.  It's not her
            fault so I feel bad.  She's such a sweet dog.  Her little face is so cute.  But
            I hate the fact that the darn ticks hitch a ride from her into my home.
            I'm obsessed about the darn ticks.  When I see one and have to flush it I
            then feel as if bugs are crawling on me all day.  When I get to Heaven the
            first thing I'm going to ask God is...  "WHY TICKS?"

            I stayed home from church today.  My tummy is upset.  It's a beautiful
            day.  I feel guilty for staying home.  I'm always afraid that something
            terrible will happen when I do something out of the ordinary.  Like if I'm
            supposed to go somewhere with Dwayne and I don't go, I feel like
            something bad will happen to him that wouldn't have happened had I
            gone.  I know it's not rational but since when have I ever been rational
            about things?

            I've noticed something else about my relationship with Dwayne.  Maybe
            about a year ago things between us were somewhat cold and drab.  I
            wasn't in love with him at all.  I've always loved him but I wasn't "in love".
            There is a difference.  Anyways, during that time it didn't bother me to be
            apart from him.  In fact I preferred it that way.  And when we were home
            together I preferred to do my own thing and have him do his own thing.
            Also during this time he didn't have the ability to hurt my feelings.  Not
            that he was trying but it's almost like I didn't care one way or the other
            how he felt about me and how he reacted towards me.  That sums it up I
            think.  I just didn't care one way or the other.  It wasn't like we were
            headed for divorce or even separation; I just felt indifferent.

            It didn't seem to be a big deal because I knew all marriages go through
            their highs and lows, their hots and colds.  But after a while of this it got
            old.  So I began to pray, very earnestly, to FEEL *something*.  To be in
            love with him again.  To be excited to spend time with him.  To want to
            hear his voice.  To enjoy snuggling with him.  To feel warmth from him
            being near.  And God answered my prayer.

            And I realized that that is what love is.  I've always been taught that love,
            true love, is a choice.  It's not a feeling.  Feelings come and go.  Feelings
            are dependent upon outside circumstances.  Real love is a choice.  I
            chose to love Dwayne when the "feelings" weren't there, and God
            answered my prayer.  My feelings came back, my emotions returned.

            I'm in love with my husband.  I can't wait to see him.  I love to be with
            him.  When I come home from work before him I just sit around and wait
            for him because my enjoyment of the evening doesn't start until he's
            with me.  When he calls me at work it's almost a relief to hear his voice;
            like I had been holding my breath waiting to hear from him.  When he
            sends me an email, even if it's just a few words, it makes me smile.  I like
            to watch him.  I like to sit next to him.  I like him.  I love him.

            And what I've noticed is that when I'm in love with him my emotions are
            much more sensitive.  Any tiny negative thing he says hurts my feelings.
            He doesn't even have to raise his voice for me to feel like he is yelling at
            me.  Any disapproving tone makes me feel crushed.  This poor man.  It's
            kind of funny in a way, although I do feel bad for him.  I know it's very
            hard for anyone to believe that I could possibly be slightly difficult to live
            with.  =o)

            Sorry.  It took me a while to make my point.
 

May 14, 2000 - Sunday

            I don't have a whole lot to say.  I don't know why I bother.  For a long
            time now it has been a struggle for me to write here.  I don't know what's
            wrong with me.  I'm losing passion.  It bothers me alot.

            I stayed home from church again this week.  This time to finish making
            my mother's day presents for my moms.  Although I would have wanted
            to stay home anyways.  I just don't feel like going lately.  I don't feel like
            going anywhere lately.  I feel like going to work and coming home.  I'm
            really in a rather crappy mood today in case you couldn't tell.  I feel
            indifferent.  Except I almost can't wait to go to work.  I don't know why.  I
            feel comfortable there and when I'm there I don't think about all the stuff
            I should be doing at home or all the people I should be visiting or all the
            cleaning I should be doing or all the organizing I should be doing.

            I'm really sick of this apartment.  Nothing I can do to it now will make me
            like it.  I'm just plain tired of being here.  I feel like an ingrate.  I mean,
            at least I have a roof over my head and all kinds of modern day
            conveniences.  But it's not enough.  It doesn't make the wood walls, the
            dust, the tinyness, the lack of storage space, the TICKS, the stupid toilet,
            etc., any easier to deal with.  I want out of here.  And it's not going to
            happen any time soon.

            And I feel bad that I'm being mean to God.  I'm being mean by acting
            ungrateful for all the blessings I have in my life, and my ROTTEN attitude
            today.  He takes care of us and loves us, giving us all that we need and
            even things that we want and yet I'm in this lousy mood that I can't seem
            to shake.  I wonder if I have PMS.  I don't think I can have PMS so soon.
            Hmmm, I don't get it.

            I know that I didn't say anything good in the entry and it could very well
            bring everyone who reads it down.  But this journal is for me first so I'm
            posting it.  Wow.  I'm even being selfish.  Yikes!  That wasn't nice.  I still
            need to put it up though because I need to be able to look back at this
            whole project and feel good about being honest.  There is already so
            much I don't write about.  Well, not *so* much, but I do censor myself.  I
            mean, if you really think about it, people censor themselves all day long
            by not always saying what's on their mind.  I think I do a pretty good job
            of saying what's on my mind most of the time.

            Anyways, it's just a bad day.  I'll be back to my happy self soon!  I
            promise!
 

"where angels fear to tread"
  bryan adams

  well i'm wrapped around your finger
  and i'm never letting go
  you know i'm happy just to linger
  and let the feeling flow

  this must be an illusion
  i know this can't be real
  but right here and right now
  this is paradise i feel

  i never thought i'd find someone to move me
  someone who could see right thru me
  you found your way into my head
  where even angels fear to tread

  don't wanna go out walkin
  don't wanna take a drive
  don't wanna move from this sweet spot baby
  while this feelin's still alive

  the way we fit together
  it's like we're meant to be
  and right here and right now
  this is paradise to me

  i never thought i'd find someone to move me
  someone who could see right thru me
  you found your way into my head
  where even angels fear to tread

May 15, 2000 - Monday Night

                                                 Mmmm... I love this song.  I keep listening to
                                                 it over and over again.  It's one of the most
                                                 romantic songs I've ever heard.  The words
                                                 alone are romantic but you should hear the
                                                 music.  It's very simple but it's so melodious
                                                 the way the chords build and resolve.  It
                                                 makes me sigh.

                                                 Tonight when I came home I was walking up
                                                 the path to my door.  On my left is the yard
                                                 with a million lilac bushes, and way off to the
                                                 right is where the horses graze in their
                                                 pastures.  When you get in between the
                                                 lilacs and the horses and the breeze starts
                                                 blowing, it is like no other scent can compare
                                                 with that scent.  Hay, field, lilacs, summer...
                                                 it's all mixed together.  It makes you want to
                                                 breathe in as deep as you can and hang onto
                                                 that moment forever.

                                                 I guess that means my passion is back.  At
                                                 least for today.  It's funny; I am a grab bag
                                                 full of emotion.  If you reach inside you won't
                                                 know what you will pull out.  I guess it's just
                                                 something I have to get used to.  When I go
                                                 thru a mood like the one I was in yesterday it
                                                 feels like it will last forever.  I have to remind
                                                 myself that my mood changes like the wind.

                                                 We bought Bob a wheel for his cage so that
                                                 he can run inside.  It took him a couple days
                                                 to figure out how to use it.  And when he
                                                 finally did we were a bit sorry we bought it.
                                                 The only time Bob wakes up is in the middle
                                                 of the night and we have found out that the
                                                 wheel squeaks.  It's a lovely sound.  But we
                                                 don't have the heart to take it out because he
                                                 really likes it.  Bob is one lucky little
                                                 hamster!

                                                 Well, I know this has been short but it has
                                                 taken me forever to write because we were
                                                 watching Roswell.  We are very disappointed
                                                 that tonight was the last show for the
                                                 season.  But I have stuff to do before I go to
                                                 bed.  NIGHT!
 

"Bridge Over Troubled Water"
       Paul Simon

       When you're weary, feelin’ small
       When tears are in your eyes
       I’ll dry them all, I'm on your side
       Oh, when times get rough
       And friends just can't be found
       Like A Bridge Over Troubled Water
       I will lay me down
       Like a Bridge Over Troubled Water
       I will lay me down.

       When you're down and out
       when you're on the street
       When evening falls so hard
       I will comfort you
       I’ll take your part
       Oh, when darkness comes
       And pain is all around
       Like A Bridge Over Troubled Water
       I will lay me down
       Like a Bridge Over Troubled Water
       I will lay me down

       Sail on Silver girl, sail on by
       Your time has come to shine
       All your dreams are on their way
       See how they shine
       Oh, if you need a friend
       I'm sailing right behind
       Like A Bridge Over Troubled Water
       I will lay me down
       Like a Bridge Over Troubled Water
       I will lay me down

May 16, 2000 - Tuesday

                                                 Nother one of those really nice songs.  I
                                                 listen to music all the time.  ALL the
                                                 time.  The girls have music on all day at
                                                 work.  They play the same old songs
                                                 over and over.  Not the same old songs,
                                                 the same new songs.  I like them but
                                                 they haven't been touching me.  So I've
                                                 just been trying to remember some of
                                                 my favorite songs to share here.  It's
                                                 more of a way to remind myself what my
                                                 favorites are.  This one was before my
                                                 time I think, but when I was in chorus
                                                 in school we sang it.  I've loved it ever
                                                 since.

                                                 I know these colors are very bright.  But
                                                 I really like them.  I was in a bright color
                                                 mood.  Forgive me.

                                                 I had a nice day today at work.  Kathy is
                                                 getting sick and I told her many times
                                                 that if she gives it to me I'm going to fire
                                                 her butt.  Jennifer felt like she was
                                                 getting sick too, however if she is it's
                                                 Kathy's fault, so I'll keep Jennifer.
                                                 Hehehe!  Just kidding girlies!

                                                 They were making fun of me today
                                                 because I was talking with someone
                                                 online and the girls said when I got a
                                                 phone call I was talking really fast and
                                                 rushing the customer.  What was funny
                                                 is the fact that I really did do that.  It
                                                 wasn't an exaggeration.  It was really
                                                 funny!

                                                 After work I went to visit Rhonda and
                                                 the kids.  Those babies are so so so
                                                 soooooooooo precious.  I can't even
                                                 begin to explain how much I love them.
                                                 Caitlin was being cute - she's just
                                                 turning 2 and she is talking ALOT.
                                                 Tonight a little boy walked by the
                                                 window so she started banging on the
                                                 window and shouting, "KID! Come
                                                 Heeya!  Back Heeya!"  What a little cutie
                                                 pie.  And Emely is getting to be alot of
                                                 fun.  She just turned 1 and wants to be
                                                 out and about constantly.  Wow, I love
                                                 them!

                                                 Then I came home and made BLT's
                                                 while we watched Buffy and Angel.  Next
                                                 week those shows will be ending too.  I
                                                 guess I shouldn't complain.  Maybe I'll
                                                 be able to work on my site more
                                                 regularly.

                                                 Well, I have to go!  Night!
 

May 17, 2000 - Wednesday Evening

     My grandfather (my Dad's father) died when I was ten years old.  I didn't really know
     him that well.  We had moved away from my grandparents when I was around 4 and
     didn't visit that much.  I can still remember his voice though.  The only other thing I
     remember about him is that he was always sitting in his chair when we went over their
     house.  Shortly after he died we went to visit my grandmother.  Even at the age of 10 I
     knew that my grandmother must be having a hard time living without him.  So on that
     day I brought a poem I had copied out of a little poem booklet, and gave it to her.  I can
     still remember every word (although I don't have the person's name who wrote it):

                                      "Life Is Worth Living"
                                        author unknown

                              Life is worth living, wherever you are
                           Deep down in a dungeon or high on a star
                               Life is worth living, it all has a plan
                      When God knows you're giving the best that you can

                                    The saint and the sinner
                                    The great and the small
                                    We are all God's children
                                       And He loves us all

                                   So pray when you're happy
                                   And pray when you're blue
                                     For life is worth living
                                    When God lives with you
 
 

     I wanted her to know that life was still worth living even if Grampa was gone.  But she
     died a few months later and I refused to go to her funeral.  I didn't know her much more
     than my grandfather but for some reason I didn't think I could handle seeing her dead.
     I was too heart broken.  I felt cheated, and I still do, that I didn't get to know her as well
     as my brothers and sisters did.  That was 20 years ago but it's still very real to me.  I
     think about her all the time.  Now I wish that I had gone to her funeral.

     I bring all this up because last night I had a dream.  In the dream we were in church for
     some kind of wedding, and my grandmother was still alive but still mourning my
     grandfather's death.  She was still the same age as when she died, around 80 I think,
     but I was an adult, the age I am now.  I sat down next to her and I asked her, "Grammy,
     do you think Grampa went to Heaven?"  And she just said sadly, "I don't know."

     And that was it.  It seems like a short dream, I only asked one question, but it's a big
     deal to me.  I believe that dreams must mean something.  To me, the dream tells me
     that I am still concerned about that whole situation, that for some reason I have never
     really put it behind me, and that I still obviously question whether I will meet my
     grandfather in Heaven when I die.

     See, my grandfather claimed to be an atheist.  That was a big deal because my
     grandmother was a very strong christian.  And no one knows for certain if she was able
     to have enough of an influence on him for him to question his beliefs, and maybe in the
     end he really did believe in God and was too stubborn or embarrassed to admit it.  I
     hope that's the case.  Sometimes I still feel like that 10 year old girl wanting to imagine
     both my grandfather and grandmother happy together in Heaven.

     It's weird that they died 20 years ago.  I don't feel old enough to say "Well, 20 years
     ago..."  I hate that I'm getting older.  It stinks to be 30 and still have such a hard time
     controlling my emotions just like a child.  And the older I get the more I think about my
     mortality and the mortality of my family.  Especially after having a dream like last
     night.  I can not bear the thought of losing either of my parents or anyone else in my
     family for that matter.  And not to sound like I really want the world to end any time
     soon, but I hope Jesus comes back before I ever have to lose anyone to death.

                                         ****************

     I wrote all that today at work.  Now I'm home.  My little hubby just came home and told
     me he was really sick for most of the day at work.  Poor thing.  So I spent some time
     rubbing his sore muscles for him.  I hate to see him sick.  I worry when that happens
     because he almost never gets sick.  =o(  He's sleeping now so hopefully he feels better
     after he has rested.

     Wanna hear something gross?  The other day I came in and saw something on the
     floor... it was a bloated tick.  Keisha must have scratched it off of herself or something.  I
     kicked it with my toe and said, "What's that?  A jelly bean?"  Hehehehe!  Nope.  A
     bloated tick.  How nasty!  I crack myself up though.  A jelly bean!?... hehehehe!

     I wasn't real thrilled to be at work today.  I inherited 3 projects, have to train some
     people in a new billing software, and I'm still paranoid that Kathy's going to give me her
     cold.  She's been blowing kisses to me the whole time, and then threatening to kiss me
     for real!  That would be bad for two reasons:  #1) I don't want her cold, and #2) I don't
     want her to kiss me!  Hahahaha!!!

     Oh well... I should probably get going.  I have to pick up Manda soon and oh, don't let
     me forget... I need to tape Dawson!
 

May 23, 2000 - Tuesday Evening

            My new computer makes an annoying ringing sound.  If I turn my head a
            certain way it changes pitch.  How irritating.  Now Chris is going to tell
            me, "See, I told you not to buy an HP."  Whatever.  Don't ever ask a Mac
            person which pc to buy.  They never have anything positive to say.
            Hehehehe!  I do like my new computer and that's all that matters!  (All
            except for the ringing sound.)  I gave my old computer to my sister,
            Rhonda.  It's not the greatest but it works fairly well for what she needs it
            for.

            Speaking of Rhonda, she told me that Caitlin (2 years old) is now
            informing her mom when Emely (1 year old) needs her diaper changed
            by saying, "Emely... diaper..." or something like that.  Man, that kid is
            adorable.  They both are.  They are so much fun to play with and watch.
            Such cutie pies!

            I'm in a crappy mood today.  There is so much going on and I don't even
            feel like talking about it.  So why am I here?  I don't know.  Just killing
            time I think.  Dwayne is in prison tonight.  Well, he is having orientation
            because he goes there with a church group to minister to the inmates.
            So no, it's not what you're thinking!  And Amanda is working.  I'm alone
            in the house and normally that would be cool but I'm just bored right
            now.

            This is no lie... I get up to pee at least twice a night if not more.  What is
            up with that?  Well I'm sure it's the gallons of water I've been drinking.
            It's like I'm addicted to water.  No matter how full I am I always want
            more.  Water!!?!!  Strange huh?

            Speaking of strange...  So Keisha is having a problem.  I LIVE to tell gross
            stories and giggle my head off but this is almost even too gross for me to
            tell.  But I'm going to anyways... so if you have a weak tummy skip this
            paragraph!!!  Let's just say (and it isn't even funny) that a gland in her
            butt got backed up and exploded.  Don't ask me how that happened
            because I don't know.  The vet seemed to act like it was very common.
            But it's gross.  She's leaking and stuff.  Dwayne has to flush out the hole
            that the explosion caused every day and she has to take some medicine.
            That is just too nasty and we all felt like barfing over it.  Which is why I
            wanted to share it with the world!  May the world barf with us!

            Ewww...

            I'm reading a new book.  It's called "We Love Eachother But..."  It's a
            marriage book of course.  It talks about how you meet your mate, fall in
            love, get married, and then things get old.  I haven't read too much of it
            yet but so far it's pretty good.  It's not that all things are old between
            Dwayne and I.  We still enjoy spending time together and still
            communicate quite well.  But it still has never been like it was in the
            beginning.  Maybe that's impossible to bring back.  I should just
            appreciate my marriage for what it is.  Deep and loving and meaningful
            and secure and strong and a million other good things.  But... there's
            always a but.  That's why I got the book, because of the title.  I hope it
            tells me how to stop wishing for the past when everything was new and
            exciting.

            Twizzlers and Lemonade don't taste good together in case you're
            wondering.
                                         Bobservations:

            Bob has been sleeping alot lately.  But since I get up in the middle of the
            night to pee so much I find Bob running on the wheel in his cage.  One
            night I sat down to watch him while I drank another glass of water that
            my bladder obviously didn't need.  I have determined that Bob must be
            sniffing too many shavings because he is one messed up hamster.

            He gets on his wheel, runs a couple laps, gets off, circles the wheel once,
            and gets back on and repeats the whole thing.  It's like he's getting on,
            running, and then getting off to see if he has reached his destination
            yet.  He sees he hasn't and gets back on and runs some more.  Bob, it's a
            stationary wheel.  Sorry bud.

            What is wrong with the animals in this house?  One is blowing glands
            out of her butt and the other is trying to escape from his cage using a
            stationary wheel.  Good Lord help us!
 

May 24, 2000 - Wednesday (3:46 a.m.)

            I can't sleep at all so I figured it might help if I write.  But I didn't feel like
            sitting at the computer and listening to Bob run on his squeaky wheel,
            so I'm writing in my room.  Poor Dwayne has to put up with my insomnia
            but so far he's still sleeping.

            It was so hot in here I had to open the window.  We never agree on the
            window position at night.  He likes it closed and I like it open.  I sleep
            much better in a room slightly cool as opposed to warm.  Because the
            waterbed is heated and makes it even hotter.  And you're not supposed
            to turn the temperature down below 10 degrees of your body
            temperature.  Then the bed just feels cold and clammy.  I bet you've
            always wanted an education on waterbeds huh?

            Anyways, I was sleeping soundly, except for a weird dream which I can't
            remember now, but I stretched and *almost* got a leg cramp.  I haven't
            had those in years, but lately I've had a couple and they really hurt!  I
            don't understand why I would get them after all this time, except that I
            must be missing something in my diet.  Debbie at work says her doctor
            told her it's a potassium deficiency.  Hmmm, since when did I stop taking
            in enough potassium.  Ewww, I don't really care for bananas, but then
            again I don't really care for leg cramps!

            Uh oh, Dwayne is stirring!  Oh man, he moved closer to me.  I hate that
            cause he hogs the bed and makes me hot!  Poor thing, I always tell him
            to push over.  He's so good when I tell him to push over.  You know how
            some people get really grouchy if you try to communicate with them
            while they sleep, like if you try to wake them up to tell them something?
            He's really good, all I have to do is nudge him and he knows to move
            over.  If I just say turn over he does that too.  He's trained well!

            Everything you needed to know, but didn't know you needed to know,
            about our sleeping patterns!  Just because I can't sleep!  =o)

            So it's been about a year since I started writing about the Fed-Ex guy.
            All's been quiet on the Fed-Ex home front lately.  So sad, because in
            September he'll be ending his Fed-Ex career and we won't see his
            smiling, happy face anymore.  We, I mean Jennifer, won't be able to stare
            at his legs anymore.  Hehehe... just kidding!  We don't do that, he just
            likes to think we do!  But Fed-Ex deliveries just won't be the same
            without him!  =o(

            Oh boy, I just remembered I have to download Paint Shop Pro once again
            on my computer.  That is a pain in the butt!  However I must do it!

            OH!  Now I remember what I was dreaming about when I was so rudely
            awakened by the threat of a leg cramp.  I dreamt that I was looking
            through history on my computer and found a bunch of conversations
            Dwayne had saved with a few online friends.  Only they were from girls
            and they kept telling him how much they loved him and stuff.  And in my
            dream I just started crying and crying.  That was a weird dream because
            Dwayne doesn't chat online, never has... he barely even goes online.
            He's too busy playing with Microsoft Access.  (Eww, I hate that program!)
            Anyways, I didn't like that dream.

            My sister told me a very funny, but embarrassing story the other day.
            She went to go visit her son who lives with her ex-husband.  Her
            ex-husband is married again.  While she was at their house she asked if
            she could borrow their bathroom.  She got in the bathroom, and started
            about her business.  She said as she was sitting there the door
            unlatched and slowly started opening.  She must not have closed it all
            the way.  She obviously couldn't get up to close it so she had to humble
            herself in the most embarrassing way and ask for help.  She called out,
            "Oh no, the door is open!"  So her ex-husbands wife came over to the
            door, laughing, and closed it for my sister.  I would have died.

            You know, I filled out my census form months ago like a good, dedicated
            American, and that still wasn't enough for them.  They have come
            knocking on my door twice during the last couple of weeks.  That's more
            than the Jehovah's Witnesses.  What do these people want?!  But the last
            time they came they left a card asking me to call.  So I went above and
            beyond what I should have had to do and called her.  She was actually
            really nice and was just confused about our address.  And I don't blame
            her because according to the town hall my address is one thing and
            according to my landlord it's another.  So I tried to help her as best I
            could and told her she may want to call the town hall.  She called me
            back to say "thank you".  How sweet.  Just goes to show you that the
            census people can be really nice!

            Okay, I need some sleep.